Boardwalks and planks

From Austin to Malmö, there is something about running on wooden boardwalks – the sound, the slight give underfoot, and the sense of being suspended between water and land. Passing Pöl Harbour, I stopped for 3 × 60 seconds of planking before continuing up to Gamlestaden and Storeberget. While perhaps not quite the Griffith Observatory, the views over Gothenburg were not bad at all, and I was reminded of how much I have come to appreciate living here.

Returning home to the kids, I found that William had emptied the dishwasher, a small act of thoughtfulness that meant more than he probably realizes. With the exams piling up in Blackboard, I then grabbed a bowl of Greek yoghurt and blueberries and settled in for a Sunday of marking.

Szalay

My original plan for this week was to repeat one of the hundred-kilometre weeks of January, which would still be on the low side considering that I have a 132-kilometre ultra coming up in five weeks' time. But, being alone with the kids, I will struggle to even make it to eighty. Hopefully, I will be up with the sunrise tomorrow and ready for a long run.

Before that, I keep turning the pages of David Szalay’s Flesh, a novel that someone likened to a night train, where with each chapter the main character is older and in a new place, in medias res. A bit like Rawls & Me if you jump between the years. Following Stockholm Marathon on Strava, I realize that seven years have passed since I last ran it myself. Looking at the familiar route, I remember the completely unexpected tears when someone in the crowd shouted “Go, Dad!” and the feeling of crossing the finish line at Stockholm Stadion just short of my goal of 3 hours and 45 minutes. Like the protagonist István, one somehow ends up in a different chapter before noticing how much time has passed.

Eden

Over the years, this blog has seen many Edens, from my PhD studies in Lund to Steinbeck country. Tonight, I am thrown a world away to South Australia and the cool-climate wine region of Eden Valley, famous for its mineral-driven take on the Riesling grape, as Systembolaget currently carries a new wine called “Vickery” that I can wholeheartedly recommend.

Otherwise, one may be forgiven for thinking that I had been to Austria rather than Australia on my trail run as I passed lots of red and white waymarks while exploring a newly marked-out trail between Sörlyckan and Bertilson’s cabin this morning. Again, I feel so incredibly fortunate to be able to shift my work around so that I can go for these longer runs and make the most of these luminous early summer days.

Bridges and piers

Someone said that if a bridge requires a lifetime of one-sided construction, it was never a bridge to begin with – it was a pier. With those words on my mind, I look out over Västgötaslätten from the upper deck of train 167 as I head back to Gothenburg after a brief reprieve from my rapidly changing life circumstances.

In thirteen days, I am off to Naples for a conference themed “Abundance or Sufficiency? The Left’s Diverging Paths in the Green Transition”, which I am very much looking forward to. Before that, however, there will be another mad round of grading in the days leading up to the graduation ceremony in Halmstad on 5 June.

Et sola gratia

Halland

Wrapping up the last lecture of the spring semester, I jumped on a green electric scooter and took my Asics Novablasts out for eleven kilometres along the coast of Halland. A part of Sweden that was nearly unknown to me until 2023, Halland has definitely grown on me since, as its liminal character brings together childhood memories of Skåne, the openness of the western sea, and that windy Road 25 leading back to Kalmar.

But, like an old ghost from Kenmare, aesthetics again proved insufficient, and maybe that is ultimately for the better. It is just that it really is back to square one, to have been weighed only to be found insufficient – divides that no words can bridge. Sola fide.

Tomorrow, I am off to Örebro and the great forests of Bergslagen, renewing my faith in what truly matters, as time really does lend perspective on limerence and other things. The other day, I read Emma Engdahl’s new book, Lektioner i kärlek, and it is a book I plan to keep.

The Blue Line

For the second time in my life, I got to follow the blue line around Gothenburg. Unlike in Italy, where I was aiming for a new PR, or in 2024, when I was running next to Anna, I had no goal at all today except to make the most of my free race entry and fully embrace the party that is Göteborgsvarvet.

Running with 55,000 other people means that pacing for the first few kilometres is not really up to you anyway, but after three kilometres, I was able to dip below five minutes per kilometre and sustain that pace for most of the race. Passing Älvsborgsbron, it started raining but, unlike two days ago, it was not dramatic at all, and by the time we reached Vasagatan, the sun had returned.

Finishing in exactly 1 hour and 45 minutes, I was ten minutes short of my PR, but super happy with my even pacing and controlled effort. At no point did I feel dizzy or overextended, and at 47, I think I should be happy about finishing among the fastest 15% of runners.

Collage

After my original plans to check out Kol & Cocktails in Helsingborg fell through, I decided to spend this month’s American Express dining benefit at Collage right here in Gothenburg. Joined by Anna, who deserved a dinner out more than most after spending eight hours in front of Zoom supervising students, we were free to choose anything we wanted from the regular menu, which in our case meant entrecôte with red wine barigoule sauce, served with French fries and Collage’s foamed béarnaise sauce, to which I ordered a glass of Château de Rochemorin and Anna a Kronenbourg lager at our own expense.

Made from a blend of Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon, my wine was a full-bodied red with firm tannins, something which foxes are well known to appreciate.

For dessert, Anna picked a fascinating rhubarb creation while I stuck to tradition and Crème Brûlée. With still more than an hour left before William would finish his chess class, we took the elevator up to Heaven 23 for their special anniversary cocktail celebrating 25 years high above the Gothenburg skyline.

Balmoral

Taking the ferry over to Lindholmen for some gym time together, William and I got to see the 217-metre-long Balmoral anchored at Amerikaskjulet, and also Hotel Draken in all its grandeur. After working out, we continued on foot to Sannegårdshamnen for a futurism-heavy stop at the same bakery where we usually take a break when I run my harbour half marathons.

Having consumed his fair share of science fiction lore and dystopias, it is both fascinating and slightly unsettling to listen to William talk about artificial intelligence and humanity’s future. Drawing on the “Dark Forest” idea from Chinese science fiction, he wondered whether an advanced extraterrestrial civilization might see humanity as uniquely dangerous once AI reaches a point where it can begin developing beyond our control.

Considering that his teacher apparently did not even know what the word “dystopia” meant, I sometimes feel sorry for William for having to wrestle with thoughts so different from those of his peers. Heck, they are far beyond the imagination of many professors of sustainability, who often seem to have remarkably little to say about the larger trajectory of human civilization.

Tapiz

Long before Gothenburg woke up, I attempted some fasted cardio – running through the loveliest sun-sprinkled mist before breakfast, aiming to improve my body's ability to burn fat rather than carbohydrates for energy. With the world’s largest half marathon, Göteborgsvarvet, coming up on Saturday, I will probably skip my planned midweek long run and focus on shorter sessions and some additional strength training.

The rest of today was spent supervising students online and working on a grant application for the Swedish Research Council, though somehow I still managed to have a surprisingly good lunch with Anna at the railway station. Once she and the kids got back from their TBE shots in the afternoon, I made Risotto alla Milanese with salmon for dinner, served with a blend of Chardonnay and Viognier from the mountains of western Argentina – a wine that has recently become part of Systembolaget's regular selection.

Knowing for certain that Anna and William will be moving to Västerås later in the summer, it feels good for all of us to be together for a few days.

Blaise Cendrars

In 1924, the Swiss author and adventurer Blaise Cendrars boarded an ocean liner bound for Brazil. An early exponent of Modernism, Cendrars wrote his poems as postcards, telegrams or fleeting blog posts (one is tempted to anachronistically add). When I came across Feuilles de route among the library shelves, it spoke to me immediately, perhaps because of the ship taking him to Rio and then São Paulo, but mostly because of my own enduring fascination with movement.

Speaking of journeys, the kids and I spent the better part of the afternoon watching Project Hail Mary. After years of very different people recommending the book to me, I was at least happy to finally watch the film, which, as Isaiah Menning recently pointed out in Breakthrough Journal, carries a message of technological optimism, humility, and love quite distinct from the misanthropy that still shapes much of contemporary environmental discourse.

With the kids calling it an early night, I got a moment alone on the balcony with a glass of Piedmont red. Instead of giving the wooden deck a proper deep clean, this will all be abandoned in a month from now as we are ending our lease and the house is coming up for sale, probably for 15 million SEK or some equally absurd sum. While the rent has been steep, the value of having this calm garden with all the forest trails and swimmable lakes just around the corner has been priceless. Maybe that is why Cendrars resonates tonight, places matter even when they are only temporary stops along the route.

Lottery

In a sudden stroke of luck, I was just given a starting place for Göteborgsvarvet next Saturday. Having run it with Anna in the heat of 2024, I had no road racing plans at all for the moment, as my focus is fully on the Essex Way Ultra in July. But despite my failure to beat my previous PR along the shores of Lago Maggiore back in March, I would have regretted turning down the opportunity of a free race bib. At the same time, I am not going to attempt anything too crazy, as I do not want to risk any injuries leading up to my big race in England.

Otherwise, today I registered my 5,000th activity on Strava, which is kind of wild when you think about it. With the rain now falling, I guess my 5,001st activity will be the gym with William, as we plan to go for a bit of strength training on our way to the library. Having finished all three books in the Hunger Games series, I hope his next book will be slightly less scary, so that his dad does not get PTSD from reading to him in the evenings.

Time on feet

Though the forecast promised sunshine, I got caught in two showers on my way around the harbour this morning, prompting an unplanned stop at Preem in Gårda for a coffee and a chocolate croissant. Then, passing Pöl Harbour, the sky cleared and I had to stop for the compulsory photo op before returning home to the first of two Teams meetings.

Instead of finishing my activity once I got home, I decided to go all in on the concept of “time on feet” (TOF), trading the stress of pacing for 140 minutes of running with lots of food in between, practising what always seems to be my real challenge in every ultra: eating enough. When I finally stopped the clock for good, I was happy to see that I had recorded 24 kilometres, something I hope to repeat tomorrow morning as well, as I keep preparing for the Essex Way Ultra.

After some palak paneer at Masala with William for lunch, he and I took tram 11 to Saltholmen and then the ferry over to Brännö for an afternoon hike by the Western Sea. Just as last year, when I went there with Eddie on his “studiedag”, both Brännö and the adjacent Galterö could not have been prettier, as we took in secluded coves and the marine life (sadly no orcas today though).

Knatterallyt

After taking part in six different chess tournaments, William today finished first overall in Knatterallyt for children born in 2014 and was awarded a big trophy!

Nothing but the rain

Through a foggy tram window, I see Stena Danica casting off. When I return after dropping William off at chess, there is nothing but the rain left, the kind of present absence that has become something of a signature theme here on Rawls & Me. The other day, Elin remarked on “the images of success and the perfect life you project through your feed”, which feels remote as my nipples are bleeding after I forgot to put on Vaseline before my morning run through the rain, my romantic life lies in ruins, and not even the old Dubliner rain jacket is enough to keep me dry.

Ten kilometres of indoor rowing later, I am back thinking that it really is a choice, and that the stakes are much higher today than they were when I was twenty; that there is a fine line between compulsivity and necessity; that the depths one can fall to are much deeper. So, I keep swimming to the best of my ability. For the moment, that means preparing a lecture for the master’s programme in digital learning on Monday and reviewing another manuscript for Energy Research & Social Science.

The road ahead

Having struggled with overtraining, and a bit of orthorexia to tell the truth, last year, I have sought a better balance this year as my life circumstances keep changing. With the Essex Way Ultra coming up in early July, I have decided not to fall into the same trap again, especially as 52 days is too short for any miracles anyway. Instead of suddenly doubling my running volume or setting off on some wild 80-kilometre adventure along Gotaleden, I will try to stick to my current 50–80 kilometres per week, with a focus on time on feet, a few proper long runs, and some back-to-back sessions.

With that in mind, I traded what I feared would become an emotionally heavy coastal morning run for some gym time in my white paws. Now it is back to teaching statistics and reading student manuscripts.

High Lighthouse

Bouncing back to 70 kilometres this week and spotting a happy fox on my Skatås morning jog, I could no longer stand the thought of not having a race to look forward to. As such, I promptly registered for the Full Essex Way Ultra on the third of July, covering 132 kilometres from Epping tube station in London to the High Lighthouse in Harwich. Though I am obviously not alone in my fascination with lighthouses, there is something existential about racing towards the sea and seeing more of the Britain that I have come to appreciate so much over the years. While I still have to work out the precise logistics, Eddie will be away in Hungary that week, so the timing is sort of perfect.

For today, it is back to the U1800 chess tournament with William, whom I had the pleasure of sharing a pizza with last night after four intensive rounds.

Tintinification

With William and Anna soon moving to another city, it felt very good to book an autumn getaway for just William and me. Finding €25 tickets with Ryanair from Arlanda to Dubrovnik on the very last day of the summer schedule, William and I will fly down to Croatia for three days by the Adriatic at the end of October, then continue with easyJet for another €50 to Geneva for a night in Switzerland before returning to Stockholm with Swiss for a similarly ridiculous amount.

Booking the trip together with William was in itself like something taken out of Tintin: searching for adventurous routings with a map of Europe in front of us, giving him a sense of an open world, and hopefully memories to cherish throughout the winter.

Street Art and Buns

Yesterday, I taught my first statistics class using the software JASP, which will replace SPSS in all my classes going forward. Waking up early, I then spent three hours this morning learning more about its functions and building a dataset from our survey on the transition to higher education.

Sticking to my midweek long-run routine, I left the computer behind and headed out for a 23-kilometre street art run in the sunshine, which included a lion mural at Skanstorget created by the Lyon-based artist Kalouf. Sadly, I missed taking a photo of “Hästar som festar”, but I did get to discover some lovely houses in Linnéstaden that I had somehow overlooked in the past. Stopping at Kafé Marmelad for coffee and a banana bun, next to the sign proclaiming the “People’s Republic of Majorna”, I was reminded that fika really is the best part of long runs.

Carbonara

With the survey spectacle making me want to reach for an extra-large “skämskudde”, I made carbonara with guanciale for lunch. Though it is significantly colder today, the weather is absolutely lovely and is expected to stay that way throughout the week.

In other news, I am happy to report that I am now on a steady course to making my first million with Sellpy, as my accidental over-purchasing of beige jeans back in January and reselling them in May is paying off big time. In many cases, I paid 75–100 SEK back then and am now selling them for three times as much. Still, I am not entirely convinced this is the “infinite money glitch” I joked about with the kids, since the profits have a tendency to be reinvested in other purchases from Sellpy, like a Sunspel corduroy Harrington jacket (an irresistible bargain at a fraction of its list price).

Survey Slip-Up

After putting a bit of effort into formulating the questions for Johanna’s and my survey on the transition to higher education, yesterday turned into an empirical embarrassment episode of epic proportions (if we are to stick with the alliterations). Using the Artologik tool for the first time, I was a bit too quick to accept the reassurance from our administrative staff that everything looked okay before publishing the survey – unleashing an unstoppable queue of e-mails to more than three thousand present and former students, with the reminder to answer the survey being sent out before the actual invitation.

Wanting to run away from it all, I went for 5k around the block, finishing with pancakes in the garden while listening to a redstart singing in the tree, probably just back from Africa. Yes, the Merlin app has truly opened my senses to what has always been right in front of me.

Back to Tylösand

With no races planned, I made the most of this recovery week by running a faster half marathon out to Tylösand this afternoon, circling the cliffs of Tyludden before heading back past the quarries of Grötvik, soaking in the seaside light, and only easing off over the final five kilometres to leave enough energy for a bit of work later tonight.

Tomorrow, I will give a class on Agenda 2030, a topic I find both inspiring in its scope and frustrating in the way it often reduces sustainability to familiar, and not always particularly effective, discourses.

Wild nettle pesto

After taking Caia for a coastal sunshine stroll yesterday, Johanna and I ended the day at her wooden lookout deck over a bottle of Albariño that we had brought back from Portugal in December. Overnight, the blue skies had turned a solid grey, providing some downtime to catch up on academic duties and get Johanna’s guesthouse ready for rental.

From childhood, I remember my mother making nettle soup and the fleeting season for picking them at my grandfather’s farm in Skåne. Today, with a slightly postmodern twist, Johanna and I picked nettles of our own and made pesto for lunch.