The Blue Line

For the second time in my life, I got to follow the blue line around Gothenburg. Unlike in Italy, where I was aiming for a new PR, or in 2024, when I was running next to Anna, I had no goal at all today except to make the most of my free race entry and fully embrace the party that is Göteborgsvarvet.

Running with 55,000 other people means that pacing for the first few kilometres is not really up to you anyway, but after three kilometres, I was able to dip below five minutes per kilometre and sustain that pace for most of the race. Passing Älvsborgsbron, it started raining but, unlike two days ago, it was not dramatic at all, and by the time we reached Vasagatan, the sun had returned.

Finishing in exactly 1 hour and 45 minutes, I was ten minutes short of my PR, but super happy with my even pacing and controlled effort. At no point did I feel dizzy or overextended, and at 47, I think I should be happy about finishing among the fastest 10% of runners.

Collage

After my original plans to check out Kol & Cocktails in Helsingborg fell through, I decided to spend this month’s American Express dining benefit at Collage right here in Gothenburg. Joined by Anna, who deserved a dinner out more than most after spending eight hours in front of Zoom supervising students, we were free to choose anything we wanted from the regular menu, which in our case meant entrecôte with red wine barigoule sauce, served with French fries and Collage’s foamed béarnaise sauce, to which I ordered a glass of Château de Rochemorin and Anna a Kronenbourg lager at our own expense.

Made from a blend of Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon, my wine was a full-bodied red with firm tannins, something which foxes are well known to appreciate.

For dessert, Anna picked a fascinating rhubarb creation while I stuck to tradition and Crème Brûlée. With still more than an hour left before William would finish his chess class, we took the elevator up to Heaven 23 for their special anniversary cocktail celebrating 25 years high above the Gothenburg skyline.

Balmoral

Taking the ferry over to Lindholmen for some gym time together, William and I got to see the 217-metre-long Balmoral anchored at Amerikaskjulet, and also Hotel Draken in all its grandeur. After working out, we continued on foot to Sannegårdshamnen for a futurism-heavy stop at the same bakery where we usually take a break when I run my harbour half marathons.

Having consumed his fair share of science fiction lore and dystopias, it is both fascinating and slightly unsettling to listen to William talk about artificial intelligence and humanity’s future. Drawing on the “Dark Forest” idea from Chinese science fiction, he wondered whether an advanced extraterrestrial civilization might see humanity as uniquely dangerous once AI reaches a point where it can begin developing beyond our control.

Considering that his teacher apparently did not even know what the word “dystopia” meant, I sometimes feel sorry for William for having to wrestle with thoughts so different from those of his peers. Heck, they are far beyond the imagination of many professors of sustainability, who often seem to have remarkably little to say about the larger trajectory of human civilization.

Tapiz

Long before Gothenburg woke up, I attempted some fasted cardio – running through the loveliest sun-sprinkled mist before breakfast, aiming to improve my body's ability to burn fat rather than carbohydrates for energy. With the world’s largest half marathon, Göteborgsvarvet, coming up on Saturday, I will probably skip my planned midweek long run and focus on shorter sessions and some additional strength training.

The rest of today was spent supervising students online and working on a grant application for the Swedish Research Council, though somehow I still managed to have a surprisingly good lunch with Anna at the railway station. Once she and the kids got back from their TBE shots in the afternoon, I made Risotto alla Milanese with salmon for dinner, served with a blend of Chardonnay and Viognier from the mountains of western Argentina – a wine that has recently become part of Systembolaget's regular selection.

Knowing for certain that Anna and William will be moving to Västerås later in the summer, it feels good for all of us to be together for a few days.

Blaise Cendrars

In 1924, the Swiss author and adventurer Blaise Cendrars boarded an ocean liner bound for Brazil. An early exponent of Modernism, Cendrars wrote his poems as postcards, telegrams or fleeting blog posts (one is tempted to anachronistically add). When I came across Feuilles de route among the library shelves, it spoke to me immediately, perhaps because of the ship taking him to Rio and then São Paulo, but mostly because of my own enduring fascination with movement.

Speaking of journeys, the kids and I spent the better part of the afternoon watching Project Hail Mary. After years of very different people recommending the book to me, I was at least happy to finally watch the film, which, as Isaiah Menning recently pointed out in Breakthrough Journal, carries a message of technological optimism, humility, and love quite distinct from the misanthropy that still shapes much of contemporary environmental discourse.

With the kids calling it an early night, I got a moment alone on the balcony with a glass of Piedmont red. Instead of giving the wooden deck a proper deep clean, this will all be abandoned in a month from now as we are ending our lease and the house is coming up for sale, probably for 15 million SEK or some equally absurd sum. While the rent has been steep, the value of having this calm garden with all the forest trails and swimmable lakes just around the corner has been priceless. Maybe that is why Cendrars resonates tonight, places matter even when they are only temporary stops along the route.

Lottery

In a sudden stroke of luck, I was just given a starting place for Göteborgsvarvet next Saturday. Having run it with Anna in the heat of 2024, I had no road racing plans at all for the moment, as my focus is fully on the Essex Way Ultra in July. But despite my failure to beat my previous PR along the shores of Lago Maggiore back in March, I would have regretted turning down the opportunity of a free race bib. At the same time, I am not going to attempt anything too crazy, as I do not want to risk any injuries leading up to my big race in England.

Otherwise, today I registered my 5,000th activity on Strava, which is kind of wild when you think about it. With the rain now falling, I guess my 5,001st activity will be the gym with William, as we plan to go for a bit of strength training on our way to the library. Having finished all three books in the Hunger Games series, I hope his next book will be slightly less scary, so that his dad does not get PTSD from reading to him in the evenings.

Time on feet

Though the forecast promised sunshine, I got caught in two showers on my way around the harbour this morning, prompting an unplanned stop at Preem in Gårda for a coffee and a chocolate croissant. Then, passing Pöl Harbour, the sky cleared and I had to stop for the compulsory photo op before returning home to the first of two Teams meetings.

Instead of finishing my activity once I got home, I decided to go all in on the concept of “time on feet” (TOF), trading the stress of pacing for 140 minutes of running with lots of food in between, practising what always seems to be my real challenge in every ultra: eating enough. When I finally stopped the clock for good, I was happy to see that I had recorded 24 kilometres, something I hope to repeat tomorrow morning as well, as I keep preparing for the Essex Way Ultra.

After some palak paneer at Masala with William for lunch, he and I took tram 11 to Saltholmen and then the ferry over to Brännö for an afternoon hike by the Western Sea. Just as last year, when I went there with Eddie on his “studiedag”, both Brännö and the adjacent Galterö could not have been prettier, as we took in secluded coves and the marine life (sadly no orcas today though).

Knatterallyt

After taking part in six different chess tournaments, William today finished first overall in Knatterallyt for children born in 2014 and was awarded a big trophy!

Nothing but the rain

Through a foggy tram window, I see Stena Danica casting off. When I return after dropping William off at chess, there is nothing but the rain left, the kind of present absence that has become something of a signature theme here on Rawls & Me. The other day, Elin remarked on “the images of success and the perfect life you project through your feed”, which feels remote as my nipples are bleeding after I forgot to put on Vaseline before my morning run through the rain, my romantic life lies in ruins, and not even the old Dubliner rain jacket is enough to keep me dry.

Ten kilometres of indoor rowing later, I am back thinking that it really is a choice, and that the stakes are much higher today than they were when I was twenty; that there is a fine line between compulsivity and necessity; that the depths one can fall to are much deeper. So, I keep swimming to the best of my ability. For the moment, that means preparing a lecture for the master’s programme in digital learning on Monday and reviewing another manuscript for Energy Research & Social Science.

The road ahead

Having struggled with overtraining, and a bit of orthorexia to tell the truth, last year, I have sought a better balance this year as my life circumstances keep changing. With the Essex Way Ultra coming up in early July, I have decided not to fall into the same trap again, especially as 52 days is too short for any miracles anyway. Instead of suddenly doubling my running volume or setting off on some wild 80-kilometre adventure along Gotaleden, I will try to stick to my current 50–70 kilometres per week, with a focus on time on feet, a few proper long runs, and some back-to-back sessions.

With that in mind, I traded what I feared would become an emotionally heavy coastal morning run for some gym time in my white paws. Now it is back to teaching statistics and reading student manuscripts.